TV Guide

March 8, 2006

Truth be told, I haven’t the faintest clue about FoodTV. It eludes me, confuses me, boggles me, leaves me at a loss. Look and behold! I now present the totally uniformed, very biased guide to the channel that the Minerva’s Family on the Mother’s Side loves so. (Bunch of chefs and foodie peoples there).

Good Eats: The best show on this channel EVER. It’s informative, funny, and cooks things I actually like. On top of that it has trivia! How could you not like that? He comes up with the most bizarre connections with foods and cultures that you have to watch just to see where it’s going if nothing else.

So-and-So’s Show: There are many Guides to Quick Eats and they serve as the bulk of the entire channel. Like Sara Moulton, Paula Deen, Tyler Florence, and all the ones like them. Nice people, look good on camera but… Most of these recipes you will never use. They are based upon the fact that America as a whole either doesn’t feel like waiting and/or doesn’t have time to wait. If you’re that time constricted make some Ramen. The origins of the multi show extravaganza are lost to me. However, I think it might have been Martha Stewart. Quite frankly I wouldn’t put it past her. It doesn’t matter which one you watch, there’s no difference.

French Dessert Guy: I forgot the name of the show and only saw one episode, but Oh My God he made the coolest chocolate house EVER. It even kind of looked like a house. It was only one side of a house, but it was incredibly big. And I have no idea how you would eat it, but it was really pretty. And he specializes in dessert. That is all I know. OK, the Mom says it’s Jacques Torres and she seems to think he’s adorable… My Mom scares me some times.

Emeril: This guy has like three shows and they are all basically the same thing. Yes his food looks incredibly good and yes the Bam! thing is entertaining to a lot of people but I’m afraid I fail to see the entertainment value.

Iron Chef: It’s a good show, even with bad dubbing. It is hard for me to describe. Basically a popular chef goes against a really popular chef that works for the show. IronChef Japan totally owns, love him. The only bad point is that they made an American version and it is horrible. Morimoto ROCKS!!!

Mario: No clue about this guy; I don’t really watch the show much. But I have to say, it always looks like what ever he cooks must really smell great! Only the Mother really watches it. She loves it dearly though. I shall reserve judgment.

Ming’s Quest: There is this guy right? And he goes like EVERYWHERE and uses the local food to create the dish for that particular episode. Cool stuff. My Aunt, the chef seems to like this guy a lot. My Mom thinks he is hot. Dad is less than thrilled.

So in conclusion while some of the shows are entertaining, I fail to see the point of an entire channel. Most of it is less than great entertainment. It is cool to watch a guy cook at a place like a Japanese Steak House where you shall be A) Eating the food B) They made a volcano out of onions and C) it’s loads of fun to watch people around you try and catch shrimp in their mouths. FoodTV is essentially a lot like C-SPAN.

Name: Minerva, Goddess of geeks. Age: 14 Occupation: Writing food essays, going to school and driving Mom crazy. Hobbies: Collecting quotes, petting dogs, messing up my friend's hair and annoying my Mom. Life so far: Born. Made it through middle school alive. My Favs: Ice cream, my dog, .hack , 3rd period, the Daily Show, british humor. anime, the Discovery Channel and my iPod. My Minions: my dog, Duke, Phil the Wizard Monkey of Oz, Ed Elric and Patsy Stone.

Email questions or comments for these two young women to webmaster@drgourmet.com.